Mirror Mirror on the wall

Have you ever looked in a mirror and actually liked what you see? Do you like your dressing style? Do you ever wish you had better hair, fairer complexion or sharper looks? Are you comfortable in your skin?
On most of the days, I’m not!

For as long as I can remember, I have been called “jadu” (fatty) by everyone. I think I was called fat because I was compared with my sister, who in my opinion was extra “skinny”! She too was made the butt of many jokes because of her petite and fragile frame.

The name “Jadu” has stuck on and now most of my cousins, friends, aunts, and uncles (in India you can just imagine how long an extended family gets) call me that and it has officially become my nickname.

These days, even when I know I’m not fat and never was, I tend to feel uncomfortable with my body. Such ‘body shaming’ has a deeper impact than we can even imagine and I have just recently learned to come to terms with it.

But that doesn’t stop me from spending a few extra minutes in front of the mirror every day, trying to tuck in my bloated stomach or from buying a larger sized top to cover my almost non-existent love handles.

It has led to many insecurities and lack of self-confidence. All of it has taken a toll on my perception of me, so much so that I only focus on my flaws and hardly register a compliment. I absolutely hate looking in a mirror. And no matter how many gyms I join or sign up for yoga classes, I’m not going to like what I see in the mirror. I’m not going to voluntarily pose for a photo; because even when I’m faking a smile, I’ll be obsessing over how my hair looks or whether or not I’m looking busty and fat. No matter how many times I’m reassured, I never feel beautiful or confident.

Every time I step out for a party or a function or step in front of a camera or a mirror, my insecurities slither back in.

I think everyone deserves to be called beautiful. Because believe it or not, our physical attributes are just as important as our nature and character. It makes us, us. Hence everyone should be encouraged to feel comfortable in their skins. And most importantly people should stop joking about other’s physic and judging them by it.

In a world where bleaching creams, anti-ageing products, cosmetics, hair straightening chemicals, plastic surgery, toxic skin-lightening creams, and casual racism is considered normal and sold and bought at sky-rocketing prices, it is essential to embrace our inner beauty and at the same time make others feel worthy and beautiful too!

Once you’ve fallen prey to ‘body shaming’, it’s going to be a long road back. But when caught in a vulnerable moment, just remember that you are beautiful and you don’t need to fit into someone’s beauty standards! Just accept your natural beauty and be healthy. And one day maybe our fairy tales will read:

“Mirror mirror on the wall
There’s a beauty in us all…”

 


© 2019 Ashwini Nawathe, Kaleidoscope of My Life
All Rights Reserved

21 thoughts on “Mirror Mirror on the wall

    1. Exactly and to live with it everyday is something nobody should go through. We anyway are prisoners of other’s perception of beauty, at least let’s try not to be a prisoner of our own thoughts!

  1. Great post! So very true too! It is sad to see so many people that are focused on their appearance due to influence of the media or other people rather than what they are comfortable with.

  2. Today body shaming has become the new “cool” for our society. They do it because they can see right through our insecurities, the lack of confidence which we have on ourselves. It is necessary to appreciate ourselves. This post is very apt. Loved it. Well said. ❤

    1. Thanks Ronny. Our so called “comedy” shows too revolve around making fun of a certain body type. What can we even expect from a society that laughs off at the expense of other person’s dignity!

      1. Totally agreed. We can expect our society to respect others, but not all expectations get fulfilled. It has become a trend these days. Another way of showing how much “swag” you have.

  3. Everyone is, in some way(angle) or the other, but if everyone is beautiful, fairy tale writers will be as clueless as the fairies.

  4. I am self-conscious too. No matter how many times people call me ‘pretty’ or ‘beautiful’ I won’t believe them, not until the girl staring back at me through the mirrors says those words.

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